First of all this my be in the wrong part of the forumn. If so, forgive me.
First Question: How do you set table rules

Second question: Someone please follow these instructions and give me the code for this table. When making the code where instructions say insert example.jpg just put like >>>JPG<<< in the code where it should be.

1. In the body section, create a table with a cell spacing value of 3 and a cell padding value of 5.
2. Creat a cell in the first row of the table that spans two columns, and identify this cell with the comment "Cougar headline". Within this cell, insert a centered h1 heading that contains the text "Cougar Sightings Increase". Display the headline in a sans-serif font.
3. In the second row of the table, insert a cell that is 60% wide and spans two rows. Vertically align the text of this cell with the cell's top border. Indentify this cell with the comment "Cougar Story". Insert the page contents of sighting.htm file.
4. Also in the tables second row, insert a cell that is 40% wide, has a red background, and align the cell text with the cell's top border. Insert the comment "Cougar Tips" for this cell. Insert the contents of the tips.htm file into this cell.

Please someone help me fast, I need this ASAP.

First question: What do you mean by "table rules"?

Second question: This appears to be a homework question. Why not try doing it yourself, and ask for help if you get stuck.

Or surely there's a "We do your html homework for you, only $99" website somewhere?

Go see the HTML reference on tables at http://htmlhelp.com/reference/html40/tables/table.html. From there, you'll have links to the other parts that make up tables too.